Sometimes you make the choices; Sometimes choices make you.
Once, I made the choice to go down the path as a Poly student. I made tons of friends, went to tons of camps, created tons of memories and of course, life was tons more relaxing. I had an awesome graduation with my mates, moved on to the next phase of life, and here I am, in a private university. Things turned down a gazillion notches, I made a handful of friends, went to zero camps, not much crazy memories, school was just another part and parcel of life, and working became majority of how I spent my holidays etc. Floated my years through the campus, attending my lectures almost alone for most of my modules, and entering the most cruel exam hall petrified. Oh, and I got my first 'F' in my life. Downsides apart, I realized Accounting wasn't my cup of tea and my true interest lie within the craziest possible, Economics. I am still afraid of my interest and how badly I'm performing in my grades, but I'm just glad that I'm studying something I'm enjoying.
If given another chance to choose, would I go down the same path? Probably not. I'd have gave my all to fight for a place to enter my dream JC, and it's almost guaranteed to enter a local university. JC life would be harsher, less fun, and I'd still be the nerdy girl in school uniform. Friends from JC could be a pain in the ass since competition would kill friendships, but if it flourishes, it'd most likely be more closely-knitted as compared to Poly's. Local universities would generally be more fun even in the toughest periods because there's so many friends and activities to keep you occupied. You get to enter exam hall terrified with your closest kakis and weep after the papers together. All that good'o school stuffs. Hmm, the only thing that would have sucked is if I chose Accounting.
Give and take.
I shouldn't regret my decisions but I really do. I'm scared to attend my own convocation alone. Should I even go about asking my friends to come to my convocation? Is this how it works? Sigh, all this loneliness. All this negativity. I really hate this private university lifestyle. Then again, I should hate myself for not making the move to make things better. I could have, should have, joined clubs etc. Regrets piling up as I go about.
University supposed to be the grandest happy ending ever right? Why do I feel so shitty?
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