Goodbye

How hard I loved. How hard I broke. Broke me in a way that I don't even know if I can walk back on my own feet. Broke me in the way you swore you'd never. Even so, I can't bring myself to hate you. I can't.

I did all I can to made things better for you, I tried my best in my own way. Even for the selfish you. Now I need to heal. I don't even know how or will I heal, but I need to because everyone's worried about me.

Goodbye you, goodbye here. I need to learn to love again.

Life changing

Never once do I ever feel that any makeup/beauty product I bought has done miracles. Today, I'm taken aback by Fresh Sugar (Tulip) Tinted Lip Treatment. This brand is in Sephora for quite a while but I never wanted to give it a try cause, S$33 for 4.3g worth of lip balm? Too expensive please! Since there's a 20% store-wide sale today, I opened myself to this brand. CAN I SAY IN LESS THAN 5 MINS, MY CHAPPED LIPS WERE REPLACED BY SILKY SMOOTH ONES?!?!?! Geez, I was so impressed! Totally worth the price paid but the only regret was, WHY DIDN'T I BUY MORE. 20% OFF LEH. T.T Women's logic, I know. Do not judge. Lets hope dfs carries this line so I can continue my cheapskate shopping. Definitely will buy one more (or the whole line *shhhh*) soon hahaha.

I've (finally!) bought MAC Painterly Paint Pot as a base for my eyes. I do own Bare Study which is amazing but now I'm seriously really into matte shades. Yeah, I'm hunting down for the purrrrrrfect matte eyeshadow palette. Caught my eyes on Tartelette, but the colors seem a little too cool. Maybe I should get the Naked Basics? Hmm.

I was the one who wanted to go for the sale, ended up my dearest sister bought even more things than me! Like Soap & Glory scrubs and body butter. Honestly, I think St Ives do a pretty good job and it's so much more affordable? I cannot live without the green tea scrub (apricot scrub is very harsh though good for body) and has been using it as a daily wash! No kidding, my face doesn't get oily as fast anymore. If it's too drying, Laniege Water Sleeping Pack EX will save the day! I'm loving this pamper routine. I find mask a bother (need a mirror to position it and I wear specs so if I wanna do something else, how bothersome!) and always love leave-in creams which are fuss-free.

Okay, that's it for my vainpot post. Hehe.

Cert collected!

I was being super grumpy about having to travel all the way out to collect my UOL cert. And no, it's not SIM which is conveniently located near my office. It's bloody far, all the way near Orchard whereby one still has to walk at least a good 400m before reaching the RELC International Hotel building. Where all the rich kids study at. Seriously, all the kids were brought in by maids. Bet they all stay at that stretch of condos which I walked by.

Anyways, cert collection mission accomplished!! It feels rather surreal and comforting that I've graduated and NO MORE STUDYING! Hip hip hurray!

(Point of this post is, I need to give more credits to happy events. Lol.)

Ups and downs

During peaceful times, we often forget to pen it down. Then during bad times, bitching and whining comes hand in hand with social networking. Yep, exactly what I'm doing right now.

Ranting to every clique doesn't make me feel any better. I'm still stuck in this dump and it stinks. Speaking with my sister did make me a little better because of her 'wisdom' teachings. Then again, my sister's aggressiveness is really up there. Banks do really produce talent debaters to fend their asses. Forever fail to straighten my words out in front of my sister who eloquently did a bullet point of my unhappiness and solutions. Good job sis.

Think positive yuya! Think positive! I need to find some lame shit to convince the heck out of myself that everything is going to be better and I'm going to be happy all over again. I need to stop hating (or just stop showing my hatred) and be loving (or just ignore) to them. Yep I can do this. I can I can I can ........ not? I'm already feeling better typing all these out and bet I'm back to happy me after I clicked 'publish'.

Signed a insurance contract which entitles me to free vitality plan *yay* and now I just need to wait for the card to sign up for True Fitness gym at only $40. Body combat, I'm coming for you! At least something to cheer me up. Now, time to polish my resume and I need retail therapy again!

Sidetracking

Impatiently waited for iPhone 6s to be released and finally, I've dis-persuaded myself in buying one. Poor bf who tolerated my constant grumbling (since the press release) because I can't decide to get or not. Haha. I fell in love with the new camera function - live photo & front camera flash, and the 3D touch function. I get that Android has both of these functions, but come'on, loyal Apple fan here.

I think, design is the deal breaker for me. I still prefer the sleek iPhone 5 design to iPhone 6 slim design, that's why I am so indecisive whether should I spend $700+ for those two functions. Thinking back, iPhone 3 was meh but as soon as iPhone 4 was released, yours truly immediately purchased it online. Those were the days. Even if I'm dead broke, I'll find a damn way to earn $ and buy it.

I did try to go money savvy on my lunch, guess it was unnecessary. Since I've made myself saved a bucket of $, I'm feeling really rich right now hahaha. I even dragged my bf to walk town and tried to find something to buy (though there's really nothing attractive). Ended up spending on food instead. Anyways, a good way to end September by feeling richer. (:

Oh and the haze. Boss told us to take cab to and fro work, fully claimable. Yippeeeeeee.

*** Wedding bells ***

I had this post back in March but never got round to reveal it. But, better late than never! Major major major throwback to 14 March 2015!!! The day whereby my sister officially put on a wedding gown, had the whole groom-pick-up session and banquet at the six stars Fullerton hotel.

I'm restricted from uploading the photos/videos on Facebook so here's a few group photos for that day! Shhhhhh cannot let her know haha.

The two kiddos who loves to be photographed hahaha

That's my cousin, not my bro's gf hahahaha too young k! (':

Overpowering unfairness

I know, I haven't finish my Bangkok trip but there are things I have to let out of my tiny heart & brain before I have major heart attack or brain tumor.

To be fulfilled with what I'm already getting after knowing what the others are getting is such a tough idea to realize. She accidentally slipped her tongue and revealed what they're earning now. It's a fairly huge mistake on her part because, I am human with a mind of my own. Undergraduate pay versus graduate pay, the difference is only $500 with similar commission scheme and benefits. On top of that, I am being restricted from the opportunity of doing something that has a much higher payout with the same amount of effort while the others are being given the chance to explore (and that's a higher commission fyi). How can I still be unaffected? Every single human being is money-motivated. I'm not an exception. The only positive thing I can comfort myself is, at least I'm being given and not having to find my own jobs to do.

I feel like crap every single day going to work - my base is not at the market rate, my colleagues are almost as well paid as me, and I'm slogging like a cow to close even one deal to earn the commission to increase my monthly pay. Fuck.

Little joke of the day

Any gentleman will always usher (unwillingly?) the ladies to sit inside or at cushion seats while they take the stiff wooden/metal seats at the outside. This is always the case when guys go out with girls (on a date or in a big group).

So what happens when guys go out with guys?

Bf: Eh, so when you go out with your gf, your gf sit inside right?

Friend: Ya duh. You?

Bf: Same loh, that's why got chance I want to sit inside too. (Apparently he always auto sit inside when he's out with this friend of his)

Friend: Fyou I also right! You also don't let me sit inside!

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously, this shit is so funny that I'm laughing while typing. <':

New buy, Sony DSC WX500

Pictures above credit to Google.com

Please just let me enlighten how lazy I am. Because the cable is too far and I can't be bothered to transfer, thus with the help of 'prt sc' & 'ctrl v' buttons and a few other Paint (the easiest program available) twerks, the above image was successful created and tadaaaaa it's here on my site! Have I rendered you speechless enough? Lol.

As said in the previous post, I made it to IT Fair! Finally gave in to the want of a new compact digital camera. Gotta say I withheld myself for a good year or so from buying one. Beating myself over the $ spent but I seriously think I'd enjoy Taiwan more by lugging less weight about. Verdict, I'm super satisfied.

I am not a techie person, so here's why I was bought over by this gadget:

1. Compact and light, duh right?
2. 30x optical zoom! Seriously, you have to test it to be amazed! Vids online do not justify.
3. 180 degree tilt screen. Omgawd I've always been tempted by this feature. Selfies made easier!
4. Not a touch-screen. I always think relying on sensitivity will result in more frustrations.
5. Comes in matte black color! I hate shiny black, HATE.
6. Inbuilt with Zeiss lens which my bro proclaimed it's much better? No idea but I trust my bro.
7. Pop-up flash which resembles DSLR. It's a cool factor. I'm totally sold.
8. Freebies include external battery charger & extra battery! So glad it's useful freebies not some other crapz.
9. Within my budget of S$500, this costed S$449 (discounted by $50). Good buy indeed.

Side story, I almost, ALMOST, lost my new camera. Not me, but bf. He was holding on to it till we went to the Superheroes cafe at MBS for dinner. He initially placed both the camera and his bag on the ground but I went like 'No no I take the camera and put behind me if not later you forget to take how?' I swear I have 乌鸦嘴 because that's exactly what happened! He really forgot to take his bag LOL! But he remembered when we exited the cafe so he ran back in. Anyways, I spent the whole evening being sarcastic to him, saying that this could be the most expensive meal till date. Hahaha! Phew us!

T-58 days!

I'm really excited about Taiwan. Doing the itinerary is making it worse because the more I know about a country, the more eager I am to set foot in to explore personally (since I'm less intimidated by the place itself). *Ahem* Not sure if because I came from the accountant route that made me so meticulous to the point that my planning is so well-detailed, or it's my perfectionist self. But there's no f'king way I'll not get us to that place (accurately) through my research unless google screwed me up badly (which happened a few times in Bangkok but we survived).

Booked the flight tickets in a rush (thank you kj for the great help!). Both of us were f'king busy tied down with work and we kept delaying to even begin looking at flights. We got Scoot as the timing fitted better and it was way more cheaper! In total, S$370 per person only. SQ was like S$700? No f'king way I'm paying extra $ which could be used to cover accommodation. What is 5.5 hrs flight compared to a 10-days stay in Taiwan? 10 days leh, of course resting at better place is going to make me more comfortable.

Itinerary's almost done *squeals*, now is getting all the minsu/hotel settled. I'm pretty stoked about the places I've shortlisted (thank you awesome bloggers for all the reviews shared, I wished I could be more enthusiastic in doing such writing) and it's all quite affordable! My bro also shared with me his google map on places he stayed/went. Seriously, I'm sure most the ladies out there don't even know we can pin places to the map. & fyi, both my bro and bf rolled their eyes at me when I didn't even know what fk is that? *ROLL EYES BACK*

Made it for the IT Fair at the very last minute, snagged a rather good buy for a travel digital camera, Sony DSC WX500! Camera for Taiwan, checked.

So my mom and dad went to get couple jacket at Uniqlo. What the fuck?!? So I was telling my bf we need to get one too to match. Lol. Obviously we didn't, but I need to purchase a thicker jacket since everyone kept telling me it'd be cold and I'd regret blah blah. If not cold, I'm gonna make you hear my shit back lol.

T-58 days to Taiwan and the days of me eating grass officially starts. Poor liao lah. T.T

Voting day

Everyone's been harping about Election, this party that party blah blah. Am I the only one out there with the reaction of 'mehhhhhhh'. Seriously I don't give much shitz about politics. Because I don't feel the impact. I choose to believe whichever party has a reason in making certain actions, and of course, not everyone agrees. You cannot trust anyone's words. Greed is inevitable when power rises. We can choose to fight against the power but in the end? The power is powerful, and if there is no will to overthrow the power, all efforts are futile. What I see is, everyone believes too much in the power that no one is even near half confident of beating it down.

I will only choose to believe that the parliament will make decisions that will benefit Singapore, short or long run. Mistakes can be corrected, all we need is to hang in there.

So much for the deep thoughts lol. Can't wait to enjoy free holiday!!

I am alive, I think

As the title suggests, I'm breathing. *Huff puff huff puff* The problem with working on a laptop is, all I want is to stay away from one when at home. True enough, I don't bother myself much with this big 15" screen anymore. My iPad mini will suffice. I think that's 8". But here I am. How contradicting.

Big congrats to my bro-in-law on his launch of his business! Interested humans, please visit www.martkplace.com.sg! They sell groceries and liquors too!

Work was so dreadful. You have no idea how much frustration I've built up. I'm no superhuman. As much perfectionist I am, mistakes are inevitable. We all learn from mistakes. Rather now than later right? I'm supposed to know, yes. I'm supposed to remember, but goddamnit I'm trying my best already okay! Good days tend to get better, and bad days just seemed to be way more disastrous? The volatility concept! Seemed like my hard work in school has paid off! I've learnt how to apply a concept, on something dumb lol.

Oh, speaking of which, I'M GOING TO GRADUATE! With a class! Third class! Better than no class! & no fails for my last semester! Yippee yay yay yippee yay yay.

These two weeks have been bad but thankfully I always have someone to lean back on. Sorry that I've become the one who's always so busy and not by my phone. He always have to call me instead because I hardly touch my cell at work. Welcome to my life. So for my groupies, don't flip out on me please because if you do, can you imagine how many times my bf flipped on me? T.T Guess that's why we all need a work-life balance.

I have like overdue trip posts, overdue photos to send to my friends, overdue this that everything. My life is horribly lagged. I wish there's a double me to complete all my to-dos.

For now, I'll call it a night. Till then.

Overflowing

Hi there, this probably has been the longest since I'm missing from this place, and yes finally I got my hands on this gadget this web to type something.

This will be quite a load to read because ........

Moody? You don't say. My patience is running thin on plenty of things because I'm really burnt out from work and work and more work; especially when I'm being faulted for things I'm not even at fault? Come'on, stress is no joke. One day I was venting to friend and her words so relatable. Man, I wish I have that skill to put how I feel into just one sentence, which for me will become one long chunk (like what I'm doing now). Sometimes understanding doesn't mean accepting; and accepting may perhaps be possible in time or never at all.

Inspirations will only come from people who walk the walk more than talk the talk. This friend of mine, her work doesn't seem quite like it, yet everyday she experiences new things from different perspective. I do admire the way she processes and crunches things in such a way that make all the complicated things simple, and it disappears like a poof. Must be she's too lazy to bother. If so, I really need to attain that level of laziness! Lol.

Honestly, I do treat / am bias towards people I care about deeply. Sometimes I make it so obvious. Guilty? No way. Because everytime I think about whose attitude is worse? Hah, f-you-see-kay-why-oh-eww. For this, I hold the grudge; I judge harder than anyone else. This fury probably may never dissipate, because I'm a true Scorpion. Never underestimate a Scorpion, or so they say.

This few weeks have been happening but, I can't remember how happening it was. Satisfying yet mundane lifestyle. I do hope I'd find what I want in life someday, or perhaps maybe realize what I have now is what I've been wanting. Ah, this doesn't sound bad at all.

I want this comforting bubble to stay comforting as long as possible. TGIF, my virtual friends.

Whirlwind

A few more days till end of July. Spent a week getting better; intolerance to cough syrup has never been so annoying. This probably meant that I've survived without medicine so long that all medicine are way too potent in its effects lol.

Seen sides of one which scares me badly. I'm not supposed to be associated with the person but seeing the person daily makes things more difficult. Yep, definitely not a 'friend' category. I just pity the other for putting so much effort every single day. Another story of my life that I've to cope with. Sigh pie.

Oh yes, I've gotta update about my whirlwind trips but I'm too damn lazy.

Back home

Two trips in two weeks is ..... incredible. Especially when the second trip was planned in less than 48 hours because we switched out from Bali to Phuket.

So relieved to be back home safe and sound. Now all I need to deal with is nags from my parents about my wound + throat infection and fever. Like how can such a small wound get such a bad infection? I'm awed by it too. I never had an infection nor seen one before because my parents were always the one cleaning up, making sure no germs etc. Guess this was rather educational lol.

Till then.

Up the date

Time wasn't enough back during exams, and I realized it's still the same now. Work has been insane, like superrrrrrrrrr cray cray, kid you not. Made a bunch of mistakes .......... *Shakes head* What's wrong with me!?!?!?! Nothing has been smooth-going at all. Ugh.

Took bus 11 home and it's only less than 1 hr? Fyi, I meant I ran home. Rather pleasant as it got some things off my brain, but still so stress. Sigh.

Envy the right people

Why look up to people who are constantly dieting yet snacking forever? Being small size is nowhere near skinny or slim. They just have small bone structure, live their life with zero exercising, and each part of their body bounces as they move. Flabby fats. Is this what you want to look up to? If that's your ideal type, sorry ah I just passed a judgement on you. You need to raise your standards of body figures.

I find it so ridiculous to envy these people. To me, they're not skinny or slim. They're just people with unappealing body figures. Lets say if you have a big ass. If it ain't toned, it's a fat ass. If it's toned, damn that ass. I don't really care how small or big size you look. You're hot with toned fats aka subtle muscles. Get it?

Okay. I envy average sized individuals with subtle toned muscles. A little bit of fats is okay (that's because it's a sigh of healthiness) but no-no to sluts (those who love to show off their boobies indecently and ahem with makeup painted face that ain't anywhere near pretty too). I wish I can implicitly state a few examples here which will make the instant connection, but I know better.

So make your choices right because that determines your own standard of taste. I think have seriously high level of preference. Super superficial me. Thank you and you're welcome.

Hello June (:

Can't believe my one week of holidays flew by just like that! I didn't really catch up with anyone, just sorta a 'me' time with my laptop, bed etc. So comforting to stay at home, be sheltered and fed, not worrying about the world.

So many things to update since my previous post, but I'm really way too undisciplined. Work is starting (resuming) tomorrow, not exactly looking forward to it, but thank goodness for the familiarity. I need to get out of my house to hop over to B's. Shall catch up next time! Cheers.

Future

Am I the only one bothered by this? Seemed to me this way. You thought I was too young to handle, I should have fun blah blah. Sure, I'm confused by how things function, but it shouldn't be decided by you about how I should feel. Where's my say in this? Fine. You didn't mention anything because I had other commitments and being twenty-three ain't old enough to handle. I'm thankful for the concern, but did you know how I really felt? I wasn't part of your future. And I always had to be the first to ask, then you shut me off. End of the day, I'm the burden for you.

Financial stability. Financial stability. Financial stability. I hated these two words. My parents fought over this two words even until now. I know how important this is, but what is being financial stability? When there's enough to cover for marriage? For family? For housing? For education? For medical? This shit is endless. If you were to ask my definition of financial stability, it doesn't exist unless I earn shit load like twenty grand per month? Or maybe with that amount of money, there may be more implications.

Secure, insecure. I don't even know what shit to feel right now. Live day by day? I'm a girl. I need something to hold on. Plans of future. For the past long while, the only thing I constantly tried to convince myself was I'm part of your future.

Two of my friends became single. Getting attached at the same time was a sign, and breaking up at the same time? Unwillingly I have to face my own doubts, again. That I never felt being a part of your future.

Maybe I should have just shut my mouth and so I wouldn't have to feel like crap now.

EXAMS ARE OVER

Our awkward poses and the horrible Hall of Death.

Goodbye Expo! Goodbye exams! Expo wouldn't be that detestable (other than being so out of the way) if not for uol's exam. Exams didn't end with a good note because of the last paper, Industrial Economics. Highly likely to get a big fat 'F'. But it's over!! I really want to graduate and not drag on another year, and not want to whine over educational things ever again.

Please let me smoothly graduate. PLEASE.